This morning, as I was showering, a spider made an attempt on my life. Thankfully, he failed in his mission.

There I was, washing my face, when he was planning his attack. I turned around to find the spider dangling in front of my face. I did what any other person would do when confronted with a creature 5000x smaller than you—I freaked out! I kept trying to throw water on my would-be attacker, hoping to blind him or else knock him off his ninja web rope. Instead, I managed to knock myself off balance, and before I knew it I was falling. I thought about how a guy at my last job fell in a shower tub and wound up permanently paralyzed.

Luckily, I had a different fate. As I fell, I slid down the tub, until I was sitting on the bottom, my body perfectly L-shaped. Unfortunately, I hit both my arms on the edge of the tub on the way down. On my left side, I hit underneath my arm not too far from the armpit. On my right arm, I smacked some bone against the edge (radius? ulna? One of those. I can never remember which one is which.) and it immediately got a lovely red line running along it from being hit so hard or scratched or both.

I immediately stood up and came face to face with my assailant, still hanging where I had left him. Seeing that he had failed in his mission, he swung over to shower head and hung out on the pole that holds it up, staying out of my sight and reach. Since I was already in the shower and wet, I figured I might as well finish up, so I washed my hair. At this point though, everything in my vision started turning bright white and I was feeling a little nauseous—just like what happened when I sprained my ankle last year. Damn adrenaline. Not wanting to pass out, I got out of the shower and sat on the toilet seat until the feelings subsided and then continued my shower.

I haven’t exactly been flinging my arm around since I hit it, but here it is an hour and a half later and it doesn’t really hurt anymore (well unless I were to touch it). Every once in awhile there is a renewal of a dull pain for a few moments, like “hey don’t forget I’m still injured!” Don’t worry arm, I didn’t forget. But I’m hoping the lack of sharp pain or anything means I didn’t break or fracture it. It does hurt a little to type this, but maybe it’s just bruising.

It could’ve been a lot worse, and I am thankful that I didn’t do any serious harm to myself. Next time I will search the surrounding shower area thoroughly for signs of arachnids before hopping in the shower. I won’t be taken by surprise again!

Posted at 11:23 AM |