Earlier this week one of my coworkers was shopping for her boyfriend in the bookstore and decided to buy me a soft little stuffed animal to add to the collection atop my computer. Isn’t that the sweetest thing??

What’s funny though is part of the reason she bought it for me. Yes, she did know it would be a welcome addition to the other animals. The real reason though is because it is a bit obscene.

The tag says that it is a Gund Ocean Wonders Zip Along. The one she got me is a manatee, although they also have other animals like walruses and stuff. Anyway, at first glance, it appears to be your regular run-of-the-mill miniature animal.

And then you turn it over.

Protruding from right above its tail, in what can only be perceived as the groin region, is an arrow shaped bit of fabric. Yes, it appears that this manatee is anatomically correct (well, not that I’ve ever seen a manatee’s anatomy). Even more disturbing….if you pull on this bit of fabric, the manatee starts vibrating.

I know it’s supposed to be cute and kinda hop along a table, but it just seems awfully obscene. I mean, you pull on a piece of fabric shaped like the tip of a penis and then the animal starts convulsing. What were they thinking?! They could’ve put the pull-string in a less objectionable location or at least made the shape more innocuous. I’ve seen animals that do the same thing, only the pull-string is on the back of the animal and is pulled by a plastic ring.

Anyway, I’m not really advocating for less obscene animals, because then I wouldn’t be enjoying this one so much. This manatee is seriously the funniest gift I’ve gotten in a long time and, because it was given randomly, is that much more awesome.

Posted at 12:49 PM |