Despite thinking for awhile now that I wanted to do it, that it was the best course of action, and that I'd be happier (or at least have the potential for greater happiness), I feel like crap whenever 4:45 pm rolls around and I head to my house instead of Vince's. I also now have to go grocery shopping, since I haven't had to fend for myself in over a year. I've been avoiding his place this week, thinking it would be better to have some space, because regardless of what happens, nothing will change if we continue to hang out 24/7. I'm not sure anymore if my negative feelings were directly related to him or just discontent with the rut we got in. I can't even remember anymore. I wanted to go over for his regularly scheduled movie night last night, but friends thought that was a bad idea and talked me out of it. We had a long talk and after it, I'm kinda inclined to think I should go. He is so calm about it when he discusses the rationale and everything, I was pretty surprised, considering he cares so much about me and took it pretty hard.

He says he is willing to do whatever it takes to get me happy again--be it as just friends or whatever. I wish I knew at this point what will make me ultimately happy. All I know though is that I was getting so frustrated with the situation that I wasn't very nice to him a lot of the time. I hope I figure it out--I especially hope I can do it without hurting anyone too much (or at all if possible).

*Sigh* Well, I guess I got what I wished for. Now it's up to me to decide what to do about that wish.

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